Magnificat House is an institution born in the 60"s as a result of resolutions of theSecond Vatican Council, promoted by  Pope John XXIII  whom I also call The Templar Pope, in my book Temple vrs. Temple.

During the time of the Council, my life was busy, exploring other environments different than those from family, in company of my new peers at college, and we were experiencing new paths, suitable of our youth.

 

I never realized when the Council convened by Pope John XXIII started or ended.

My remoteness of the Church and many principles acquired in childhood, seem to make no sense in this age where reason and intelligence seemed to outdo the imagination.

In those days, I was obsessed to read Marx, Camus, Sartre , Otrega y Gasset, Nietzsche, Goethe, Sheller, Herman Hess and all those entire, crazy, cool precursors of modernism.

My generation had reached the top of the roof and the student movement had already started in France, and was about to flourish in Latin American Countries like Mexico.

 

In industrial Countries, they seem to be in the form of music and drugs, through movements like the Hippie generation.

The United States was crossing the  Viet Nam War  and thousands of young people in that Country, expressed their dissatisfaction with that absurd war.

 

The rationalism seemed to have fully succeeded over the Faith and John XXIII knew that he would face this new situation.

The books of the French Jesuit, Theilard of Chardin were published several years after his death, breaking religious barriers to new scientific Discoveries and theories of evolution as proposed by Darwin . This new Christology was expressed by President Kennedy when in one of his speeches call to jump barriers to achieve Peace.

In China, where the youth revolution had taken the causes of a Cultural Revolution, promoted by the Maoist regime,Thomas Merton, an American Trappist monk, seen with great distrust by the CIA, died electrocuted in an "accident" while trying to fix a fan in one of the Buddhist Temples where he was trying to find similarities between the Buddhist Meditation and Christian Silence prayer, where he focused his ideas and whose books from that facts were widely disseminated.

 

In Mexico, the student movement became guerilla and promising young people as Ignacio Ontiveros, student of Economics and member of the high society of Monterrey, Mexico, was killed by government forces and the Jesuits to be blame for the affiliation of many of these young people to the guerillas, were expelled from this city by its conservative Bishop.

 

I knew that several of them had emigrated to Central America where some of them were killed.

In those years I moved to the National School of Architecture at the UNAM, the largest university in Mexico and I was able to find several of my colleages who had been studying architecture at Monterrey and had moved to Mexico City to continue their studies at The Major Seminary of the Jesuits while complete their careers.

Carlos, one of them I remember most, he made extraordinary efforts to invite me to join the Company and with that purpose, he invited me to visit him often and showed me the library in the last underground level of this building that they used to call "The little Hell"   where they placed most of the books published by all these crazy cool modernist geniuses mentioned before and that they could be accessed only by special permission of their spiritual director or co-adjutor, who supervised and assisted in the reading and comprehension of them.

He gave me some books of the great mystics of the Church, as Saint Teresa of Avila,Saint John of the Cross, Saint Ignatius of Loyola, St, Francis of Assis, Saint Catherine of Sienna, Saint Theresa of Lisieux and many others that formed in my mind, my counterweight to socialism and modernism.

 

The Bishops who supported the Liberation Theology, began to appear in the poorest areas of Latin-America, the assembly of Latin American Episcopal Conference-CELAM, in Rio de Janeiro, Medellin. Mar de Plata, Puebla, Calli and some other ones that took place, gave more emphasis to this movement reaffirming its preference for the poor.

 

During the time after The Second Vatican Council, there was a big drop of vocations in seminars and convents.

I remember that in the 90"s, I visited with a friend, the great University center and Abbey of one of the oldest religious orders of the Church, "the Benedictines", Saint Gregory"s Abbey  which is located in Chawnee, near Tulsa Oklahoma.

I remember I talked with the retired abbot, Father Philip Berning,  who had resigned his post overwhelmed of the great drop of seminarians and priests as well as brothers and sisters who lived enshrined in convents scattered in the vast territory of the province"s ruling, which reached California and other states that had his headquarters in this quiet and important place of Faith.

 

I have never criticized the errors of Pope John XXIII and praised many of his results,  but; the fact is that when he opened the window of the Church to get a bit of fresh air, also entered a dense black smoke that Paul VI called The Smoke of Satan.

This cloud and other things which are among the signs of our time, I will relate more extensively in my book Temple vrs. Temple.

 

 When I was a child, my grandmother inspired to me a religious vocation. When she died, I was a 13 years old child who murmured on her ear, embraced on her lifeless body still on her bed, she died that night,  "Grandma, I will be a priest" and those words sealed a promise.

In my Children"s mind, one of the signs of the priesthood more tided to my imagination was that the priest was the only person authorized by the Church to touch with his hands the Eucharistic, so this act was for me a symbol of his anointing.

I lost this desire even without a full understanding, it was as if God doesn"t need me for that mission.

So, when attending mass for the first time after many years in the dining room  of Loaves and Fishes, my mind refuse to extend my hands to take the Eucharistic as most people did when they were taking communion and overcoming to my fears, I finally extended my hands and it was as if that time, I had fulfilled the promise made to my Grandmother on her deathbed and I felt full of joy and thanked God for this reform made by The Second Vatican Council that I had lived without giving an account of its reforms. 

 

Time went slowly and in my relationship with Magnificat, I was learning little by little more about its founder.

 

Rose Mary Badami, a young woman who had lost her only brother on 1947, because of the polio and who promised to be a priest. She was the only daughter of an Italian family that moved from Denisson Texas where she was born, to Houston when they were reached by the economic depression of those years.

She graduated from college at Saint Thomas University in the area of Social Work and now holds the title of Doctor in Letters Honoris Causa, which was granted by her merits and was evaluated by the prestigious University led by Basilian religious priests which thus showed their appreciation to this favorite daughter who they are backing up, in her work as chaplains of Magnificat.

The work of Rose Mary, regarded as a State and Federal model, started in a residence acquired in the Hispanic ward of Magnolia.

Its first residences were women with family problems or no resources and with children. Absorbed in this mission, surrendered completely to it, she never got married, she was spreading her ministry and hence the properties that now make up this organization.

Her work inspired by previous organizations started in the 30"s like The Catholic Worker in New York, and Madonna House in Canada, related to Magnificat, as secular community, serving the poor.

 

Unfortunately, the family structure that characterizes these communities, is gradually disappearing from Magnificat, reflected in the new terminology adopted by new staff members of her team, who are seeing this organization, as an institution for transitory housing more than a temporary substitute home for its residents.

 

Currently, the Magnificat"s Ministry is to help the elderly, men and women uncapable of taking care of themselves, patients with mental disabilities or chronic illnesses, people with terminally ill or infected with HIV, adults with problems of alcoholism or drug addiction, people on parole probation, overnight shelter for women on the streets and it is a refuge for many people during time of cold or emergencies in addition of the Soup Kitchen that feeds hundreds of people per week.

 

I told Rose Mary one time, "Perhaps the Church which is considering Dorothy Day and,Catherine Doherty  pioneers of this Ministry in this Country, as candidates for sainthood, one day it considers you too, but; for me, I already consider you the most wonderful women I have known in my life and your example has inspired many of the things that I wish to have, they are your compassion, your search for Jesus in the poor and homeless  and your spirit of Robin Hood which makes bold actions in the great desire to serve the unwanted, the disable, who needs love and consolation, although many times you have faced major problems in helping them".

 

The figure of Rose Mary reminds me of a leafy tree, with its roots planted in good ground and its branches extended toward the sky, where thousands of   birds seek refuge and rest. This is Magnificat in Rose Mary, the image of God"s Kingdom on earth.

 

The community has several facilities, namely Anawim, Ave Maria, Bethany, Susanna, Providence, Galeele, St. Joseph Club House, Visitation Convent, St Francis, Loaves and Fishes, Miryam"s  Hostel, Anawim Thrift Store, Holy Family staff apartments, Emmanuel main office, Emmaus, Opus Maria Center, Maranatha, Duchesen, A new adquisition un-named yet, Brennan Park, Goodman park, Joseph kapik garden, and two empty lots for a Multipurpose building project and the volunteers center project.

 

In these early years in Magnificat, I was still searching for Jesus presence in our neighbors, but; he hasn't came to meet me yet.   

 

That day, they took us to a house, plantation style, that they called Gamaliel or Austin House because it is located on Austin Street. It has a porch with large columns at the entrance, and its construction dates, probably, from the 30"s.

The architecture of this house reminds me of the great Southern Mansions of large plantations.

 

Other houses with similar architecture were built in this area and some of them are still there.

This was a distinguished neighborhood of the 30"s and 40"s in Houston, no doubt.

 

We sat in what appeared to be the dining room, where they gave us some forms to fill out.

I wrote to answer about my occupation, Architect and Artist.

The lady that had made the appeal at the soup kitchen, approached me and told me, reading my data, "What beautiful hand writing you have"!

 

That night, I was assigned to a house that they have in the Montrose District, known in Houston for its restaurants, galleries and artists" studios but also by a large gay community living in that area.

 

This house is called Bethany or simply Fairview because it is located on that street.

It was inhabited by disabled persons with psychiatric problems and was managed by a couple with some mental disabilities (Down Syndrome).

 

Next day, Monday, the house remained empty, because; most of its residents were taken to the main house Gamaliel, where they were helping with small chores, and attending several activities conducted in that place, such as talks, bingo, art classes, mental relaxation and of course, the daily mass at the Chapel.

 

Taking advantage of being almost alone in the house, I cleaned the house room by room and I rearranged the furniture and beds, following a more functional way that my architect education allowed me to envision. I did all these during the whole week and at the end of it, I could hear the voice of the managers talking on the phone with a frightened voice saying "He does not belong to this house"!

 

Next day, I was moved to the mansion house, where I had filled my application.

 

The bedrooms were very large but the bathrooms were not designed to serve so many people.

 

In those days I was sent to Dr. Loo who was the official psychiatric doctor in the house.

 

He had a small office in another of their houses that is call Maranatha  and he attended residents, on a voluntary basis twice a week.

 

He reviewed my file and with a smile, he asked me the questions that probably he used to do to evaluate the people who were sent to him for the first time.

"What is your name"? "Do you know what day is today"? "Who is the President of the United States"? Then he asked me about some particular event occurred on those days.

When he realized that my problem was not psychiatric, he sent me back to the house.

 

That day, the lady who had spoken with me on the first day, called me up and she wondered which odd job I would like to do to collaborate with them, "I would like to help clean and serve in the dining room, where I heard of this organization the first time", I answered to her.

Thus began my work in Magnificat.

 

The soup kitchen is located in the East side of Houston downtown, two blocks from the modern home of the Houston Astros baseball team.

The official name of the Soup Kitchen is Loaves and Fishes and they feed in this place, about 200 to 300 persons daily.

 

Downtown area is the favorite choice for the homeless people to live. It"s near dormitories and shelters, soup kitchens and other places like empty lots and old buildings, where they gather to drink and do drugs, to bump and beg for money or just hang in public parks and bridges where they use to sleep on summer.

 

When I saw the long lines made by such people at the soup kitchen, I was shocked because I never thought that in a Country so rich and powerful like this, there would be this kind of problem.

 

They looked like human caricatures, shaggy and dirty, without predominance of age and on their faces, they showed dementia or reflected their addiction to drugs and their life without moral values. Most of them carried their belongings in bags or sacks. However, as I noted above, it was not material poverty or lack of food which overwhelmed them, but abuse of alcohol and drugs which had led them to that end.

 

Love seemed to be totally absent from their lives and seeing those lines, my mind began to work on themes for my paintings.

 

The time was moving fast for me, a week had passed and I was who was handed the cleanup group.

 

I had been doing some drawings with the ideas that I outbreak in those days when suddenly I realized that 30 days were finished!

 

I look for the food service manager, who is above the cook position and I sent the request for my bus fare with him to the Director.

 

Next day, the same lady that I met before, call me up and I knew, she was the Director and the Founder  of Magnificat, she knew that I was an artist and she told me that she would like for me to commit myself to stay for a year with them. I told her, that my plan was to go to New Orleans where I would look for a job and meet some other artists and learn from them.

I explained to her that the reason to stay in the houses for 30 days was to serve Jesus, who I had so long ignored.  Unfortunately I had spent, the money of my fare on those days, otherwise, I wouldn"t ask for the bus fare promised.

 

"Your ticket is not a problem", she replied, "but; what I really would like is that you will stay with us for at least one year".

 

Something crossed my mind and I said, "The only way I would stay would be to live like an artist and to do so, I would need a studio and materials to work."

 

"No problem", she replied, "would you like to make a trip to the houses and look for a place to install your studio"? "I am going to give you a stipend every month so you can buy things that we cannot provide to you".

 

"I already looked in several places", I answered, "and I liked the small room that is in the attic". "It is an small room, with a good light coming from the north, through a big window, and also, it has a complete bathroom, I think, that place was designed for that purpose". "At this time, it is packed with books and other things it also needs some paint on the walls".

 

"Do you smoke"?  She asked me. "No, the cigarettes I had received, I exchanged for other things like soft drinks, sweets, etc".

"Ok", she replied, "from now until then, with the money I will give to you, you can buy what you like". "The reason I asked if you smoke, it is because the attic is not in condition to be inhabited".

 

And so, I began my life at Magnificat with the title of Resident Artist, Not immediately, I renounced my work in the dining room, so, my first days like a Resident Artist were working to set up my studio, after I finish my daily job at the soup kitchen.

 

The task was not easy. Those who were assigned to open the attic for me and to provide me my tools and materials to paint it, they worked hard to make my job more difficult and to be honest, this attitude has not changed with those who play those roles now.

 

The projects are carried out with an astonishing slowness caused by the many changes of priorities and people who leave and come to the House constantly and they do not have the continuity that they should have.

 

I finished setting up my studio, and finally, I started to work on the drawings that I had devised to do the murals and achieved some moments of privacy difficult to have, in a community life, that was, still new for me.

 

I submitted my drawings  to the director and she agreed warmly, and requested for a list of materials to be bought and used.

 

After a fairly reasonable time, I was supplied with the most essentials materials.

I asked her to allow me to quit my job in the dining room, to devote my time entirely to this new project. In Magnificat, to devote all your time to a single project is almost impossible, because; there is always some other things to do.

 

I do not remember how long it took me to realize this project, but; it was several months, most of this, because; the inconveniences that I had to face, like transportation, supplies of materials and other activities that I had to perform as part of my community life in this organization, that I must add, they benefited me a lot. Some of these activities consisted of daily masses, art classes, community meetings and gatherings, talks, meals and many other projects.

 

The first beautiful spiritual experience that I had in Magnificat, it happened on a Sunday, when working in the dining room, we were told that the priest who officiates mass, would not be able to come

 

I did not want to miss mass, so, I went to see the lady at the front desk in Fatima House where we served our meals at that time and she gave me the schedule of Sunday masses at Guadalupe Church, near the place we were.

I asked permission to attend the mass at noon and they warned me that when I returned, I would not find anything to eat and possibly I would have to return to the house on my own, if, the van that carried the group came before me and I wouldn"t find food at the house, if, I arrived late for supper.

 

I considered all these risks and decided to go to mass, aware that I had no money in my pockets for any of these expenses.

 

After Mass, these worked my way back to the Soup Kitchen, it had a detour, to avoid an under pass that the vehicles use to evade the train but; didn"t have access to pedestrians.

When I reached the corner, in which I had to divert, a small car, a so-called station wagon came from the tunnel in the opposite direction of which I was walking.

When the driver saw me, he stopped at the edge of the curve where I was, and from the vehicle   came out a little girl of 12 or 13 years old and showed me a bag in her hands and said to me, "we just have been in McDonald"s, my little sister didn"t want her meal, this bag contained a  hamburger, some fries and a soda, Would you like to accept it"?

 

I was hungry and the only way I could answer was, "certainly"! And thanked her.

I noticed that she put her hands in prayer while I turned my sight to the vehicle to thank her parents with my hand. I also saw, the smiling face of her little sister looking through the window.

When I arrived to the soup kitchen I found the group still waiting for the ride to go back.

 

Another  beautiful experiences I had, were that every time I needed some clothes or something else, I always found them on my way to my studio when I use to pass through the attic that was at that time, the dressing room of the houses and also where they keep some donations that they had not been reviewed yet. What surprised me more was that the clothes I found on my way, not only were my measure, but; also the color and the style that I wish.

These little miracles seem to be a daily happening in my life as, somebody was providing me in my needs.

 

Even though I had not found Jesus in my life yet, he already started manifesting himself to me through his angels, whom I never even recognized, until many years later, while I was writing my book  I, Michael!

The Free Masons' Gospel is a book, in which I try to use the mindset of these groups, based largely on a Gnostic spiritualism in which the figure of Jesus is minimized to leave him alone as a man with a messianic mission, stripped of all divinity and whose resurrection is a false fact and without verification, promoted by his disciples.  Paul is indeed, whom the Gnostics consider the creator of the God-Man.

 

The figure of John the Baptist is exalted in his divine mission over the one of Jesus.

Likewise, the figure of Mary Magdalene represents the disciple-wife to whom Jesus deposited not only the authority of the church but also, the inheritance in the blood of their children. Peter and Mary the mother of Jesus were whipped from the role in the history of church.

 

The book The Free Masons" Gospel will continue, despite the irreparable loss of my files that contained a large amount of information. Within these pages, I will reveal the mysteries that Vicenzi (the main character in my book) will discover during his mission that the emperor Constantine entrusted him and it has the purpose of Seeking for Jesus.

He started a journal to find holy places and reminders like documents, utensils, etc.

He founded in Bethlehem the place where he was giving birth and in Jerusalem, he established his tomb and the cenacle. He found the Pretorius, the place where the tradition said that the original temple of Salomon was buried. This place is located at the present time, in the Muslim district of Jerusalem, where the golden Mesquite was erected.  

 

He has to look for evidence of his existence through relics, documents and objects that bear witness of his presence on earth was something real. Holy land was not the limit of his search; he had plans to go to Egypt, the land of the Gnostics, where they kept many of these proofs.

 

I worried about the absence of Jesus in my life that Jesus made known to me in my home and at the school of my childhood.

 

In my years of youth, Marxism and socialism seemed to respond to Christian–humanism outbreaks in most of the third world countries. It turned the words Justice in God in Social Justice and then, in Revolution as well as the word Love on Sexual Freedom.

 

My life burdened by the absence of that Jesus of my childhood, one day I felt the urgency of finding him, and doing so, I knew that he was always at my side, but; he was the one who would find me, not me.

 

I had managed several Latinos clubs in the area of Houston over 2 years, and my life was sliding downhill. I decided to leave this city to head to New Orleans, and learn from the many artists who are in this city.

I always admired the techniques of using crayon (Pastel) and opaque watercolor (Tempera) that Degas used during his stay in this beautiful city with a taste of French province. These combine techniques were taking up by the painters and they made of this medium, the favorite in this city.

With these ideas in mind, I decided to take the metro bus to reach the bus station and buy my ticket to that city.

 

A friend of mine who lived in the same area, asked me to allow him to travel with me to New Orleans.

With tears in his eyes, he told me "I want to leave this neighborhood. My friends use to invite me to drink all the beer I like, but not a taco meal". "I am an alcoholic but I want to quit". I accepted him as a companion and together we went to The Central Bus Station in Houston.       

                                                                                                                                             

The bus station is so small, compared with the size of Houston and it is located in the downtown district.

Upon arrival, we went to the ticket window to find out the fare of our trip.

I took some money from my wallet in order to buy my ticket, when he asked me for the money to buy his.

I put a face of surprise, and he tried to explain to me that he had no money just as I supposed.

Look, I told him, "I have just enough money to buy mine and to spend on the first days before I start seeking for a job in that city".

"Let"s go to look for a job, here in Houston", he replied, "we can exploit this Christmas season on these last days of the year working through a labor pool and with more money in our bags, we could make it better in New Orleans".

"Where we are going to stay"? I replied.

"Don"t worry about it, follow me"! He told me.

And following him, he led me to The Salvation Army.

 

They gave us three nights to stay. That night is when my soul decided to look for Jesus with more eagerness.

Once inside the building, we went to the dorms, then it was when I saw his face among those who formed the row. I looked around the room to ascertain about his presence but I couldn"t see him in any of the beds.

I went to bed thinking that everything had been a mine configuration.

 

Very early in the morning, as we left the building, I saw him chatting with several of those who had slept in the dorm. I think that he was disturbing, when he noted the insistence of my sight.  I went back inside the building to bring my friend to show him what I supposed was Jesus; at least I wouldn"t think that it was my imagination this time.

 

When we went out into the street again he had disappeared, and the group around him had been dismissed mingling with others.

We cross the street, I thought that he may be in the employment agency on which we were going to subscribe but he wasn"t there either.  

 

I signed up with my friend in the labor pool and we took a seat to expect that someone will call seeking for workers, they may call us.

After 15 minutes we were sitting, I told him, "I"ll see you in the afternoon", "I will walk, to distract my mind".

 

I left the place aimlessly fixed, and I took the metro bus to go to downtown that was relatively close to the site and which I was also more familiar.

I asked the driver that was Hispanic, where there would be a Catholic school and he told me that he will show me where to leave the bus.

The church was located in a Hispanic neighborhood nearby.

I got off the bus and then, I saw that the church had the name of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

It has alongside, an elementary school. I entered the church, after many years of not entering any. I saw Guadalupe image and I kneeled at the main altar.

 

Some tears came to my eyes and suddenly I felt the urgency of confessing my sins.

I went to the office and I found it was the school rectory and their pupils were in class at that time.

With lust in my words, I asked the clerk, for a priest to confess. With a bureaucratic voice, she told me, "there is not confession today; you need to come next Friday before the mass".    

 

I answered a bit irritated, "When an ill person goes to the emergency" room in a hospital, it is because; he expects to see a doctor". "Today, I came seriously sick of my sins, that I carry for many years and your answer is as you throw me out from the hospital".

I was ready to leave when a side door was opened and a priest who had been listening to the conversation, called me with a very gentle voice, "come to my office, I will hear your confession.

 

I do not how long I said my confession, possibly an hour. Years had passed that I had moved from God and the  Church, not even I had given account of changes and reforms carried out by The Second Vatican Council but what surprised me most at the end of my confession, it was the penance that the father imposed me.

He told me, "not only have you forgotten Jesus, but, also others, in who Jesus is present and wants to be looking for".

"All these years, you have lived in a total selfishness and seeking only personal pleasure and your benefit".

"As penance, I am going to ask you, to go and look for a friend and in three days, you will show him your affection".

 

Find a friend? But I already did, I thought to myself, and thinking on him, I wonder if he was able to find a job, so, I returned to the Salvation Army building to wait for him. When the time to sign in   was over and he didn"t appear, I asked for another place to which he might have go. Someone pointed out elsewhere in downtown where the admission will conclude later.

 

I went to that place without hesitation. 

 

The place is call Star of Hope. This facility contrasted with the clean and modern Salvation Army at that time. The dorm consisted in a hug hall where they lined up about 300 bunk beds so I had to share room with about 600 unclean people that dismissed an unpleasant odor.

 

The smell and the environment of the place didn"t let me sleep throughout the night, so I got up and stayed while having coffee and chatting with the security guard.

 

The next day, very early, I went to look for my friend.

 

The day before, I had bought some cigarettes and gave them to him with some money for the bus and to buy something for lunch.

 

After some time waiting for him, he finally appeared about 8 o"clock in the morning. He came hungry and looking for cigarettes. He told me that he hadn"t been paid yet, and he had to stay at the job site to sleep, because they finished late. It was Saturday, one day before the last day of 1984.

 

"Come on", I told him, "I"m going to buy some cigarettes for you and then we can go to breakfast". "We can look for a place to lunch later".

 

"I need to come back to collect my money", he replied to me, "but; at noon, I"m going to take you to a place where they serve a good free meal"!

"Well, we will see". I told him, "I may follow you again".       

 

That day, he took me to a place where my Catholic mentality was confused. In the corridor, I saw the statue of the Virgin Mary, It was in her advocacy of The Immaculate Conception, I think. On its walls I could see other images of saints.

 

The Catholicism that I grow up in never was interested in a social ministry because all our vision focused on the spiritual. I resisted, it was a place where Catholics provide this kind of help, so I couldn"t resist the temptation and to resolve this doubt, I went to ask the person sitting at the front desk.

Now I know, her name is Stella and she has a heart as big as her enormous body.

 

"Yes", she told me, "this is a Catholic place and it is call Fatima House, and belongs to the Legion of Mary". "We do not offer meals, another Catholic organization does, but they are renovating its building located next door, and we just let them to use this place to serve meals while they remodeling their building".     

 

Curious, I went into the building under remodeling and inside myself, began to sprout my desire to help, washing dishes or cleaning tables.

 

I asked about the person in charge of the place and they pointed out the men cooking in the kitchen.

I presented and offered him my help, his response was sharp.

"We do not need help"!  

 

Upon seeing my face in frustration, he told me, "if you come tomorrow Sunday, after we had mass, they make an appeal to those who want to participate in an aid program and stay in the houses, and then you can enroll with us".

 

That evening, my friend finally could collect his money and told me that he already had enough to buy his ticket.

 

On Sunday, I told him that I wanted to eat at the same place we did the day before.

As I had been told, after mass, a lady made an appeal to those wishing to stay one month to provide help, they will give them, the bus fare to go any part of the United States if their idea was to go to another city or they could stay with them, while looking for a job in Houston, otherwise, they could continue living in the houses helping in the community needs.

30 days, I thought, it is a little time to serve the one who I forgot for many years and that he has always been at your side.

 

When we finished eating, my friend whose name is Elias, hurried me up to go to buy the tickets.

 

"Look", I told him, "I decided to stay with them for a month, you go"!

 

I felt that my search for Jesus, barely had begun but; that was up to him, to come to my encounter.

My Digital Death

 

Last month (March-2008) I received from the Legion of Mary in Houston, a package of books written by Don Louis De Montfort, on The True Devotion To Jesus and Mary and The Total Consecration to Them. 

 

Those books were giving to me, in appreciation for a print of Our Lady of Guadalupe, which I restored and gifted to them.  I added, the United States flag, painted on her dress.

 

I took several pictures with my camera, and gave an 8"x10" copy to some nuns from Guatemala. They are: Sister Gabina, Sister Maria, Sister Lea and Sister Magdalena.

 

This print bears the flag of Guatemala.

 

They are the Missionaries of the Eucharist that were founded in that region of Central America by Mother Tonia Maria Orland, a North American missionary from Los Angeles, CA..

This nun"s achievement, before she died, was to provide, a property, in our community, for them to be able to live.

They obtained permits from the respective bishops of Guatemala and Houston.

They have lived for several years with us and care for a small modern chapel, which is known as Visitation.

The house had been designated as Visitation Convent.Visitation Link.

In addition, these nuns, had enlightened our lives, and brought to us a great help in the ministry of Magnificat which served without distinction in many areas, and is framed in the works of mercy that the Catechism of the church teaches us, according to the Bible:

 

1.     Feed the hungry.

2.  Dress the naked.

3.  Give drink to the thirsty.

4.  Give shelter to the helpless.

5.  Assist the sick.

6.  Visit the prisoners.

7.  Bury the dead.

 

Another copy with the flag of the Philippines was giving to another nun that belongs to the order of   The Incarnate Word Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament who is native of this country.

 

She cooperates with us in the activities of The Club House that we call Saint Joseph were they teach patients with mental disabilities, to perform simple tasks that enable them to re-adjust to society providing these services to companies which kindly offer to them, some working hours.

 

Sister Mary Jude, as we call her, guided by her spiritual concern, provides further bible study classes in different houses of our commonwealth.

 

I gave another print to Sister Agnes, another nun native of India who belongs to The Daughters of the Immaculate Conception and I added on this print, the flag of her country.

 

Sister Agnes is in charge of works at the garden that surround the Clubhouse where we have a horticulture garden and nourish flowers that beautify our houses and chapels. 

 

I was about to send another print to my friend Fernando Obregón with the intention of place it at Fátima House in Guatemala City, when my unexpected digital death occurred.

 

I will try to relate the facts:

 

In those days, I was to realize the spiritual exercise of Don Louis de Montfort.

Perhaps the one he rescued from medieval traditions, in which some orders of chivalry, especially the order of warriors Templar, who were the habit of prostrated on their knees before the altar of the Virgin Mary, on the eve of the night before being ordered, shipped to knights and dangerous missions.

 

And amid the darkness and solitude of the temple, dimly lit by candles, was devoting their lives, and promised to Mary, as their Queen as their faithful servants and followers of her son.

 

At the end of this exercise, that in the case of Don Louis, takes a period of 33 days and which end coincided with a special date.

According to the chosen, by me, should end on March 25, devoted to the announcement to Mary by the Archangel Gabriel, but in this leap year by interfering with the Easter season, was moved to March 31.

 

For this reason, and following the instructions of this book, I went to a holy place and in this case chose the chapel of The Holy Cross, located in downtown Houston and which belongs to the Prelature founded by Don Josemaría Escrivá, an institution that preserves many of the Papal guarantees giving to the Knights Templar in the past.

 

In this chapel, confessions are made throughout the day in the hours that it is open from Monday through Friday and were held in addition, two daily masses at noon to which clerks and corporate executives from their offices, installed in the surroundings area, used to come during their lunch time. 

 

I always feel very comfortable in this chapel, so after confessing, I had communion in the first mass and while waiting to complete the second to make my consecration, I felt as if someone pushed me and I remembered that the Church of the Annunciation was located a few blocks from where I was.

 

Certainly, this church is a beautiful building of French architecture, with its pointed tower and masterpieces of stained glass windows in its walls, somehow reminding me of Chartres.

 

Chartres, besides from being, one of the most important and oldest in France, was preferred in some, by the Knights Templar, and was also the place where some of them, came together the night after the murder of their chiefs.

They conspired in this church, against the King of France, the Pope, and the Inquisitor, swearing revenge against them, who considered the main perpetrators of the execution at the stake of the Grand Master of the Order and its main Provincial Directors.

 

I arrived at the time that the father was closing the church after mass, in this holy day, and knowing the reason for my visit, he let me enter and kindly instructed me to leave by a side door.

 

The altar of the Virgin, located on the left side of the main altar, was beautifully decorated with flowers that had been placed in her honor during this celebration.

 

The lights were off in the temple so the dim light coming through the stained glass, increasing the beauty of the place, only its altar was kept illuminated, thanks to the kindness of the father, that let me enter.

  

Recalling the tradition of medieval knights, especially those of The Knights Templar, I eventually knelt before her image and made my total commitment to her.  Knights Templar Consecration Link.

 

Everything that I had read in those days of Don Louis de Montfort or St. Louis de Montfort, I had exercised for much of my life and my advocacy for Mary, had been planted since my childhood by the Marist Brothers of the French religious order founded by Blessed Marcellin Champagnat in the school where I cursed my elementary grades. Performed this consecration as conceived by Don Louis de Montfort, made me feel great joy to deliver this time without limitations, the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

 

At the end of my consecration, I sat on one of the pews at the front of her altar and in my thoughts; I expressed my deep concerns about the book I had been writing.

 

"Mother", I told her, "I"ve put into your hands not only my job but also my whole life and I have offered to you, as your servant, but as your slave to please and serve you".

"I want to know from you, if what I have been writing, is, what you want from me, or if I should renounce to this, that I consider my mission in life, and dedicate my time to doing something different for you, more according to your ideas and plans".

 

I recalled that days before Ester, I was meditating in some of my thoughts when suddenly and without any connection to what I was thinking, I hear a clear voice within me that told me:

 

"Jesus is coming soon"!

 

I found this experience to remember and reflecting on this thought before her image at the temple, I asked her if this message was addressed to me or to communicate to others.

If He is coming for me, that will be wonderful! It should remind me that I am going to die soon, and he is promised me to be beside me at that moment.

 

A maternal calm voice told me, "He will come soon, because, he has promised, and you will die, but this time not in the way you"ve thought".

 

"Keep sending my image", the maternal voice continued, "write on the name of the family or the one of the institution or group to which you are going to send it, especially if they carry a name that honors mine".

 

"From there I will began to spill my thanks to the families that venerate this image in their homes or on those who come to the holy places where my image is display and they plead for their problems".

 

"This will mark the announcement in my messages, that I will be present in their distress, and therefore will know that I am the one chosen to bring Jesus in his second advent".

 

Thinking about the economics I wanted to replicate but only hear in me her voice;

 

"I will provide it"

 

Days passed and I felt that my health had declined and my feet were swelling in such a way that they produced me a lot of pain when walking.

 

In those days I had been moved from a peaceful place in the Hispanic sector of magnolia to the complex in Midtown that this organization owns.

 

The Director asked me to manage a small unit that has two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a Living Room. One bedroom is for 4 people and I shared the second one with other resident. We call it The Carriage House or Saint Francis.

 

Some of these people are subject to supervision, by a probation parole officer.

They chose this community from a list of places that the State provided to them and our incoming office accepted them.

 

This project is relatively new and has helped to fill the houses with a better type of workers than those who usually roam the streets; in addition to that, they demonstrated a better behavior, fearing being sent back to jail.

 

Some of them worked elsewhere, and from their paychecks, they pay to the State of Texas, certain amount and to Magnificat they pay for their room and board.

 

For this reason, this apartment is subject to rules more flexible than other houses in the community.

 

Soon I realized that three of them could give me problems with their drug habit.

 

I tried to express my fears across to the Guatemalan nuns and to the Director, whose age has made her cut off communication with most of the residents, among whom I am.

 

My concern was not having a secure closet with a padlock, to save what I think, my values, namely, my computer, my guitar and my digital photograph equipment.

 

Days passed, and when I didn"t get any answer, I forgot the matter.

 

Soon, I noticed that my legs were swollen, and prevented me from bending my knees. Other inconveniences increased.

 

I was happy when I knew, that two of the residents with drug problems, had left.

The third person who was my roommate, I was informed that he will leave in those days.

 

Aware that I should soon go to the hospital, I removed the backups of my files that I had saved in a separate bag with a padlock, and I began to copy all the changes and additions, made to my computer on those days.

 

I previously, had problems with my files, stored on CD-ROMs, which this time, I had all my backups, in portable hard drives, with capacity of 80GB and a travel 20GB for my music.

 

I had enrolled in some sites that provide space on the Internet, to store and share files, one of them, excellent, called UNYK and which I planed to send my telephone directories.

 

Another one is a site also quite good, called 4share, and which you can store, up to 5MB free per email address you have.

 

Working in my files, I kept all my computer equipment, in a leather briefcase that I bought for that purpose. Tired and overwhelmed by the pain of my feet, I put my bag at the head of my bed, thinking to continue working on my files, very early, next morning.

I woke up about 5am and left the bed with great difficulty, when I noticed the disappearance of my bag.

 

I looked for my roommate, who that night had requested permission to stay in the living room, watching TV and during the day before, he has been gathering his belongings and placed them above on his bed, so, I had no objection to give him permission.

 

I looked for him, outside the house and, someone who had been raised earlier than I, and was having coffee on the porch, told me, that surely, he had left during the night, because, he had not seen anybody leaving the house.

 

During the morning, he had the nerve to return for the rest of his possessions that he had left on his bed, and I noticed that he was a dope.

I asked him, to return at least, my files, which perhaps he didn"t think, to take with the rest of my hardware. I told him, the tremendous value that they had for me, because the time and effort that I invested on them, doing research and copy information only valuable for me. If you bring me those files back, I told him, I will not put any charges on you. He cynically, denied having taking my things and I never will be able to prove the opposite.

He knows, he will go back to jail, not for stealing my computer equipment but to have broke his paroles agreements about leaving the house and his job with no advice to his probation officer.

 

I made my report to the police and called to his supervisor at the parole office.

 

Next day, I went to the hospital and desolate returned after 3 days, with a catheter connected to my bladder and awaiting an appointment with the urologist who wants to do more tests, looking for a possible cancer in my prostate.

 

The community placed me in Ave Maria, house in the northern sector of Houston where I used to have my studio in the garage and they toughet, it would be the most appropriate place for my convalescence.

 

At the hospital, I had received a visit from a chaplain and I confessed, my great difficulty to forgive those who stole my properties, but I was concerned about my total consecration to Jesus through Mary, not only of myself, but, all my spiritual and material values and I placed my total confidence on them.

 

"So, do you forgive them"? The chaplain from the hospital asked me.

 

"Yes, I do", I answered, "because it was not theirs but the Father"s will, who has allowed them to carry out their plans".    

 

The medical report didn"t say what obstructed my bladder, just, I knew that my heart and my kidneys are functioning well. Unfortunately, I have to wait to learn more about my problem until the tests conducting by the urologist had made.

 

From a few days that I came back from the hospital, a police officer called me, telling me that my roommate had been arrested and returned to prison, and he will interrogate him for information on my computer and try to know, to whom he had sold it.

 

"Vincent", he told me, "you and I know that he took your laptop, but for the law, if he denies it, he is only a suspect until, we prove offence, in this case it will be extremely difficult if we do not know where you computer is".

 

Today, I understand that my death occurred in a digital form, where all my work in the computer, that I did in nearly 10 years, was reduced to nothing.

 

The last page that I had finished writing was entitled The Land of the Gnostics and I made it, very documented. I am going to suspend the publication of these pages until I can gather again, the books and notes I need to continue.

 

I discovered that the crucifix that I own as a treasure and that I mention in my book I, Michael! and I used to keep it with my computer and accessories, I took it out on those days from my bag and placed close to my bed to pray for my health.  Thanks to that, I still have it, as if he had desired to stay with me.

 

I also knew, from my spiritual sources, that my wittings are well appreciated by our blessed mother, but the most important, from this experience, was to learn that Jesus is above all desires and belongings.

 

"Your tenacious desire to penetrate the hearts of those who rely more on their intelligence, giving reason over faith, and to those who think that their religious ideas, are innovative or different from those of the mother church because they live in modern times". "They ignore those ideas are the same that constituted all the heresies of the past and are the sum of all heresies that the modernism of your time has engendered".

 

"This is what makes that your main enemy, who is in the shadows behind these ideas, increasing his personal struggle against you".

"The walk with Jesus, bearing your cross, to the Calvary Mountain that was told to you during your dream in Dickinson at the retreat house, is going to start with the loos of your files and computer equipment".

 

"Always remember that you weakness is your strength because the power of God dwells in it".     

 

Today I know that my consecration was a prelude to face the real generator of these ideas to those groups and sects.

 

The following pages to which I shall devote to write, I will do with great enthusiasm while regaining some of the material loss, for the completion of my books.

They are:The Free Masons' Gospel, Militia Dei, My days at Magnificat and Temple vs. Temple.

 

My days at Magnificat; In this book, I"ll relate my encounter with Jesus and my testimony about him in my life.

 

Temple vs. Temple is the struggle against this enemy in darkness through issues that appear daily in the news media, but that people have not focused on the reality of this fight.  

I am going to write about this topic, in the way that I perceive it. The protection of this inner force and the advice of my spiritual source that I call my angels, encourage me to write about these events.

It is the story of this terrible battle, carried out through the history of man, hidden in darkness and which today, seems to emerge with the advent of the Anti-Christ in our time.

 

While correcting this chapter, an inner voice told me:

"You'll have to start another book, with the title The Oracle of the Temple.

This will replace the previously planned at the end of your series, where you thought interpreted under the new light of your sources, all the prophecies of Nostradamus that are related to the Knights Templar and the End of This Era.

The Oracle of the Temple is focus on present events and will be intimately linked with Temple vs. Temple.

 

Now I know that my initiation and total consecration has had the purpose of sending me to this dangerous mission, in which I shall face, my real enemy, Prince of lies and accuser of man.

 

Now I know where my strength lies.

Now I know what my enemy is.
Now I know what my mission is.
Now I know what my fate is.
Now I know who I am.

"Not to us, Lord, not to us. To Your Name give the glory!

Vincent (Victor)
Last Marshall of The Temple.